


i like you so much, you'll know it. (我多喜歡你，你會知道。)

by yoonjeonghan



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, M/M, changbin wonwoo bffs, himbo!mingyu, hopeless romantic!wonwoo, junhuis so oblivious i want to punch him, wonwoo gay panics the entire hour he spends at junhuis house, wonwoo is overly affectionate with everyone, wouldnt that be the ultimate skzsvt interaction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:21:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29645016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoonjeonghan/pseuds/yoonjeonghan
Summary: after a series of failed romances, wen junhui decides that romantic feelings are worth not even a second of his time.then, in comes jeon wonwoo, with a heart bursting with love, and a mind set on proving to junhui that he, too, deserves to be loved.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Wen Jun Hui | Jun, Jeon Wonwoo/Wen Jun Hui | Jun
Kudos: 57





	i like you so much, you'll know it. (我多喜歡你，你會知道。)

**Author's Note:**

> title is from a song by wang junqi!! the original is in chinese, but there's an english cover of it by ysabella and the lyrics are a pretty accurate translation of the original lyrics ^__^

the first time junhui truly experiences his first heart break, he was a freshman and in love with choi seungcheol. they’d rushed into it too quick, and seungcheol impulsively agreed. as a result, their relationship hadn't lasted long at all; only spanning from late february to late april, but junhui still loved him as if it'd gone on for two years.

maybe that was his first mistake. loving too much. committing too quickly. maybe that's why, ultimately, seungcheol couldn't handle it.

it took six painstakingly long months to get used to not having seungcheol around. junhui unlearned all the habits he’s developed from keeping seungcheol close, like looking out for the unique ringtone he’d set for him, or sending letters he wrote in the middle of the night when thoughts of seungcheol clouded his mind, or even something as simple as sending a text, _to check up_ on him, junhui thinks.

by the time those six months ended, junhui learned the secret to getting over someone quicker; you just simply had to pretend as if they didn’t exist.

so junhui stopped sharing spotify accounts with him, blocked seungcheol on all of his social media accounts, and stopped looking for him whenever he’d stand in the middle of a crowd in the hallways, no matter how much junhui wanted to find that familiar tuft of black hair poking out above the crowd.

sure enough, junhui felt brand new after six months, and soon came a boy named chwe hansol. at this point in time, junhui panicked a little over his and seungcheols shared last name, but vernon had been so oddly charming and alluring that all caution junhui had was promptly thrown out the window.

a month after they started talking, junhui invited vernon to come meet his friends. back then, it was still him, xu minghao, boo seungkwan, and lee chan. maybe junhui was partially at fault here; he should've known from the moment vernon and seungkwan first exchanged pleasantries. he spotted the stars in vernons eyes; stars that never showed when junhui was the one vernon was looking at, and he spotted the faintest shade of pink dusted over seungkwans cheeks; a colour he's only ever seen gracing seungkwans face when he talked to someone he found attractive.

junhuis texts to vernon went from being replied to within a minute, then to an hour. then to six, until vernon didn't even bother replying anymore. junhui would check his social media timeline, only to see that vernon had been out with seungkwan, or that they'd been on a face time call for the past hour.

junhui, at one point, had also been on seungkwans end of that face time call.

he considered asking vernon about it instead of playing dumb and taking all of vernons excuses. he’d never so badly wanted to slap the truth right in vernons face, and then maybe vernon would stop lying to him, but what for? in the end, nothing would change. junhui would lose vernon no matter what ending he chose. even if junhui did _nothing_ about it, he’d still lose vernon, so why does it matter what he does about this?

they would never come to know why seungkwan stopped hanging out with them after that. maybe he thought he was too good for them, now that he had vernon. maybe he realized what he was doing, and was overridden with guilt. junhui doesn't really care anymore. he's got vernon anyway. he'll be fine.

although xu minghao was one to disagree. one night, he’d gotten into a heated monologue about how seungkwan should’ve known that junhui had already been talking to vernon for some time. it’s only common decency for seungkwan to have rejected vernon, so maybe it could have been seungkwans fault. or maybe vernon, for making moves on seungkwan in the first place. what about both? could junhui, somehow be at fault too here?

_“are you insane?! vernon ghosted you for one of your closest friends who, might i add, accepted his advances, and you still think that’s your fault?”_

thanks, minghao.

since vernon didn't work, almost naturally, junhui found himself drifting towards kim mingyu: one of vernons closest friends. tall, kind, slightly stupid, and extremely buff (read: a himbo) for a fifteen year old, but that’s part of his charm, junhui noticed. the body of someone who could end you paired with the personality of a golden retriever puppy. they were acquainted before junhui had even met vernon, having shared a few classes with mingyu, but they never really properly had a conversation with meaning until vernon came along. he sympathized with junhuis situation, and junhui, in turn, grew comfortable with him. perhaps, the line he won junhuis heart over with was something about wanting to punch some sense into vernon after what he did to junhui.

great minds think alike, however. even though mingyu completely disagreed with vernons choices, he also rejected junhui in the end. this time, though, junhui realized that mingyu was more mature than half of the male student population at school. the rejection had been devastating (although not at all surprising), but junhui had been lucky enough to receive a few apologies and a list of reasons why a relationship between the two of them wouldn't work. they'd be off to different universities once they graduated, and many more reasons alike, but most importantly, mingyu tells him that he already had his eyes on someone else.

ah. _fuck._ of course he does.

mingyu’s as good as boys get, but junhui thinks, getting over him is not nearly as difficult as it was to get over seungcheol.

not long after he stopped talking to mingyu altogether, junhui found himself in the company of best friends yoon jeonghan and joshua hong. he had never noticed yoon jeonghan before junhui and chan had to work with them for a group project, but why? jeonghan was gorgeous, witty, charming, with a flair for the dramatic.

was junhui thinking of courting him? certainly. was junhui afraid, considering what his past romances have all turned out to be like? absolutely. was junhui hoping that jeonghan would be the one to end his rejection streak? most definitely.

“chan, you have _got_ to help me.”

chan violently shakes his head. “no! i don’t even know the guy!”

no, chan doesn’t, but you know who does?

joshua hong.

how do you think junhui and joshuas friendship started?

joshua would play wingman here, as the middle man in a relationship that obviously wouldn't work, but junhui had to try, no?

halfway through his (failing) friendship with jeonghan, junhui realized that maybe, just maybe, it hadn't been jeonghan who he was chasing this entire time. maybe it was joshua, who he spent hours and hours with, talking about things beyond the topic of the latters best friend. with him, junhui felt comfortable. they'd only known each other for, what, three months? junhui feels as though joshua had been there his entire life.

that, however, was the same mistake he made with seungcheol, and also mingyu. getting comfortable too quickly.

for some reason, junhui confessed his feelings to jeonghan anyway. well, the results are obvious, are they not? otherwise, jeonghan would never have been written the same way all of junhui’s past romances had been written.

yes, jeonghan rejected him too, but this time it was _different_.

junhui hadn’t considered how downright cruel teenage boys could be. maybe he’d gotten too used to mingyus ways that he’d completely forgotten how he was one of a kind. there are so many more out there who would never have spared him a single second of kindness when he was getting rejected. jeonghan is one of them. jeonghan rejected him without reason, without an excuse, without apologies. all he had said was “okay.”

okay _what?_ okay, i accept, let’s date? okay, thanks for your feelings but i cant return them? okay, _what?_

junhui didn’t even know what ‘okay’ meant until he asked joshua. it had been _“okay, but i don’t return the feelings. i’m not looking for a relationship”._

on the balcony of his apartment, junhui let the cold night air thread through his hair. it should be peaceful, a time for junhui to relax, but he felt himself thinking about everyone, from seungcheol to vernon, all the way up to jeonghan. he has no idea why, but jeonghans rejection is the first one he cries over after almost a year since he broke up with seungcheol. maybe it was the complete disregard for his feelings. maybe it was the humiliation, especially in front of joshua. maybe it was the cruelty of being rejected with nothing more than an “okay”. maybe it was the accumulated, pent up feelings from 4 consecutive rejections. nothing was clear anymore; all junhui knew was that he was tired.

so after that he stopped, for the remainder of the year. he stuck by minghao and chan and joshua and his books and built a wall so high up no one would ever hurt him again. he’s painfully aware of his feelings for joshua, but maybe if he never said anything, then nothing could hurt him in the first place. he’d still have joshua, although they’d be merely friends, but at least that was better than not having joshua at all.

“are you really not going to confess? _ever?_ ”

junhui hummed. “yup.”

“are you sure?”

junhui exasperatedly sighed, eyeing both of his friends. “ _yes_ i’m sure. besides, there’s no point. joshua’s never gonna date me.”

“are you _sure?_ ”

“stop that!”

junhui’s thought about it before. maybe on the day of their graduation, he’d confess, just because by then, he’d never have to face joshua ever again if (read: _when_ ) joshua rejects him just like everyone else did. they’re more intimate that a pair of friends should be, but junhui would bet his left leg that joshua harbours absolutely none, zero, not a single drop of feelings for junhui.

but he could never be sure, because after a year, the length of their daily texts hopped on a steep decline, just like it had with vernon, but at least this time it was mutual. joshua was busy, junhui was busy. it happens, perhaps, although junhui, minghao, and chan remained as close as ever.

junhui thought of him sometimes. late at night, when it was quiet and the world didn’t expect anything from him, junhui wonders how joshua is, if he’s found someone else to take junhuis place in his life. he wonders if joshua is still friends with jeonghan, and if he, too, spends his nights staring up at the sky, thinking of him. junhui’s probably alone on this one. the most likely scenario would be joshua, off playing games with his friends, or actually studying for once. junhui wouldn’t know, it’s not like they’re talking anyway.

junhui thought he had to let joshua go. he didn’t realize that he never really had joshua in the first place. just like vernon.

eleventh grade rolled in, and joshua only invaded junhuis mind once in a while. he barely remembered seungcheol, vernon, or mingyu. he was right on the brink of fully getting over joshua when his homeroom teacher, one beautiful morning, announced the arrival of a new student from maseok.

kwon soonyoung, the son of a farmer, with cheeks as fluffy as freshly steamed buns and a smile as bright as a million stars in a pitch black sky.

junhui stops himself from falling still. soonyoung is definitely attractive, but chan is overly social, and soonyoung is a shy, clueless new kid. connect the dots, and soonyoung finds himself seated with junhui, minghao, and chan, as the newest addition to their little group of friends.

still, junhui chooses to repress his feelings for soonyoung.

months pass, and soonyoung seems to have taken his permanent spot as one of junhuis friends. chans connection forces them to grow closer, especially in classes where minghao nor chan were present, leaving soonyoung and junhui together. those classes were especially a burden; soonyoung would talk, and junhui would listen as he violently pushed his feelings away. junhui would learn about soonyoungs parents, his sisters, his pet dog, his old friends, his ex girlfriend, and in turn, soonyoung would learn about junhuis mother, his step father, his half brother, minghao and chan, and seungcheol.

one afternoon though, during one of their study sessions in the library, soonyoung is quieter than usual. it’s not that junhui minded the silence, it wasn’t particularly awkward. junhui was just worried about whatever was bothering soonyoung, since it appeared to be heavy enough to silence the usually talkative soonyoung.

“do you still think of seungcheol?” he suddenly broke the silence.

does he?

_no, because it’s been years. no, because he’s not around anymore anyway. no, because i have you now._

“almost never anymore, why?”

“do you think relationships are worth your time?”

are they?

junhui has spent nights thinking of the same thing. he probably had all those crushes and gotten rejected just because he was still lonely after seungcheol left him, which probably means that he never really wanted a relationship, he just wanted to fill the void seungcheol left all those years ago. having all those crushes was like trying to fill in a cavity with a filling made of candy. it works until the bacteria finds the candy and enlarges the cavity.

when junhui says no, soonyoung seemed to mull it over for a second. “what are you thinking about?”

soonyoung turned to look at him. “junhui, i think i like someone.”

oh.

junhui gulps down the acid rising up his throat. “oh that’s nice. who?”

“do you know lee jihoon?”

ah, lee jihoon. top of their class in chemistry and the honorary student member of the school’s music team. he’s quiet, is all junhui knows, choosing only very few to keep close to him.

“we started talking a few days ago and- i don’t know.”

“so you like him?”

“i don’t know.”

_he doesn't know_ , he said. soonyoung just admires how hard jihoon works in chemistry and how passionate he is about music. soonyoung is a bit stupid, junhui thinks. essentially, every crush begins as an admiration of the other person.

thank god junhui pushed his feelings away since the beginning.

but it still didn't help the ache in his chest once he left the library and parted ways with soonyoung. he said nothing to joshua, and yet they drifted apart anyway. he said nothing to soonyoung too, and there he was, on his balcony the night of that same day, looking at the stars and wondering _why_. if this will ever meet its end. if junhui really is just _that_ undesirable.

he returned to school the next day. junhui saw soonyoung, gave him the same smile as he had before the events of yesterday, and finds that the aching significantly reduced since he went to sleep last night.

that was a year ago, when junhui was still a junior in high school.

today, junhui is a senior.

a lonely senior, sitting in biology twelve.

"wen junhui, pick a partner."

fuck.

it's a known fact to the entire class that junhui barely talks to anyone in biology. he took all the subjects minghao did, but they still managed to share only two out of those four classes. why the school had an affinity for separating them, junhui would never know. the only thing he _does_ know right now is that he has fifteen pairs of eyes on him, as if they were praying he wouldn't choose them and separate them from their partner of choice.

"i-i think it'd be best if you chose, sir." junhui apologetically smiles.

to his relief, his teacher nods in agreement. "fair enough. jeon wonwoo, perhaps it'd be nice to see you _not_ stuck to changbins side for once."

ah, yes, jeon wonwoo and seo changbin. the unshakeable duo, as minghao loves to call them. no one's sure how or when exactly their friendship started; by the time everyone was old enough to understand the concept of school cliques, wonwoo and changbin had established that years back, just on a smaller scale. maybe they grew up together, or maybe they'd just found their perfect platonic match by luck at such a young age. who knows? junhui's not one to pry.

beside him, changbin snorts, but wonwoo just offers their professor a toothy smile and an "okay."

and that was the end of it. the rest of the class matched up with satisfactory partners (changbin managed to claim an acquaintance from a five people group), and wonwoo moved to sit beside junhui before their teacher shared the details of their project.

"hi," wonwoo smiles, "hope we'll work well together."

junhui offers him a nod. "yeah."

they don't talk for the rest of the period. wonwoo makes a handwritten copy of the projects grading rubric as junhui notes down their instructions. together, they are to create a concept map of the cells involved in the human bodys recovery from certain illnesses. junhui and wonwoo have been graced with tuberculosis. for their project topic, of course.

“so that’s…a bacterial infection,” wonwoo comments, “did you take notes?”

shit.

“n-no…”

shit. is wonwoo going to hate him for this?

“oh, you poor thing,” wonwoo hums, “that’s okay. here, have mine.”

wonwoo removes a thin stack of papers from his binder, sliding them over to junhui. there are highlighted lines and bullet points and graphs neatly arranged on the page, complete with personalized titles and headings in bolded font and a pastel green highlighter. he looks at wonwoo quizzically. does he not need these? he couldn’t have two copies couldn’t he?

“but- don’t you need them?” junhui asks.

wonwoo just smiles and dismisses it with a shake of his head. “don’t worry. i think i’ve got this.”

junhui wants to insist, but wonwoo goes right into planning their concept map and leaves no room for disagreement. the pile of notes are quietly slipped into junhuis bag as he joins wonwoo.

* * *

the notes reappear again on junhuis table that night.

he’s been staring at them for the past ten minutes, not because he can make sense of what he’s reading. frankly, he’s not even reading at all. junhui stares because he cant wrap his finger around why the handwriting on the paper just seems so… _wonwoo_. if someone were to ask him what wonwoo writes like, that is exactly what he would respond with, although he’s not sure how he would. it’s quite difficult to describe someones handwriting anyway.

the pile of grid paper lay untouched on junhuis table, stared upon like it were a monster, or an amalgamation of the worlds most curious animals. junhui considers calling wonwoo to ask if he’ll need it back at one point, or if he’s already got a second set of notes by now, but he’s quickly reminded of the fact that he doesn’t have wonwoos number, nor any of his social media accounts.

but you know who would? stupidly social lee chan.

> **[7:19PM] me**
> 
> guys does anyone have jeon wonwoos number
> 
> **[7:19PM] chan**
> 
> a date or a blowjob?
> 
> **[7:19PM] me**
> 
> ?? a school project
> 
> **[7:20PM] minghao**
> 
> so…a blowjob
> 
> **[7:20PM] me**
> 
> NO?!?!?#?@$?!@ can i please just have the number <//3
> 
> **[7:20PM] chan**
> 
> yes baby here you go [Contact attached.]
> 
> **[7:21PM] me**
> 
> thank u baby i owe you one
> 
> **[7:21PM] minghao**
> 
> im baby
> 
> **[7:21PM] me**
> 
> nah
> 
> **[7:21PM] chan**
> 
> nah
> 
> **[7:21PM] minghao**
> 
> :(

junhui saves wonwoo into his contacts list.

...

he doesn't like it.

* * *

"we should do it at your place."

they're seated at the back of the class when wonwoo pitches the idea. junhui's pen instantly stops writing on the piece of paper in front of him as he furrows his eyebrows. at his house? why? wasn't this supposed to be a digital poster?

"oh, but wouldn't it be enough to call while doing it?"

wonwoo panics for a moment, evident in the way his lips part without noise coming out from in between them.

“um, my wifi at home is bad,” he finally says.

huh.

later at lunch, junhui sits next to chan to whisper to him, "don't you play games with wonwoo?"

"what? yeah, why?"

"so his wifi at home is good?"

"good? jun, his internet speed is fucking _fifty_ megabytes per second. that's god tier internet."

huh.

so the next day, in biology, junhui asks wonwoo, "so when are you coming over?"

"oh! um, well-" (note: wonwoo fucking _blushes_ ) "when are you free?"

“how does wednesday sound?”

“perfect!” wonwoo says, a little too enthusiastically, a little too quickly.

huh.

* * *

wednesday rolls in quicker than junhui liked. he’d even almost forgotten about wonwoo coming over later that afternoon if he hadn’t passed by him in the cafeteria talking to changbin. he’s too far away to hear what they’re talking about, but their expressions tell a story unlike any other. wonwoo seems nervous, constantly scratching his head and ruffling his hair as he paces around a small area in front of changbin. the latter, however, is sitting on one of the cafeteria benches with his back leaning on the table behind him, legs propped up onto another bench in front of him, and his arms pulled back and resting on the table. he looks incredibly relaxed next to the restless wonwoo, slowly losing his mind with every frantic word that leaves his mouth. perhaps he’s not going to be able to make it today? is he nervous to tell junhui?

> **[2:55PM] me**
> 
> helloooo
> 
> **[2:55PM] me**
> 
> are you still coming?
> 
> **[2:55PM] wonwoo**
> 
> ofcofc!!!
> 
> **[2:55PM] wonwoo**
> 
> ill see you at 4 :D
> 
> **[2:55PM] me**
> 
> see youu

so it’s not him.

maybe junhui’s just looking at something completely unrelated.

junhui turns and heads home. he doesn’t notice the way wonwoo catches sight of him, and instantly collapses onto the floor. changbin sighs, pressing his fingers to his forehead.

he didn’t really have much of a break at home. he’d hopped in the shower (and used twice the amount of shampoo than he normally would’ve) and put on some clothes (a hoodie and some sweatpants in comparison to the thinning white t-shirt and basketball shorts he’d usually have on) before his phone rings from wonwoos call.

“i’m at the lobby, can you let me in?”

he doesn’t say it- well, he does, but you know how you can practically hear it when someone’s smiling as they speak to you? well, it’s like that, but instead of a smile, it’s a pout. wonwoo is pouting, and sulking in his ear. _sulking_ , like a kid who just missed the closing time of their favourite ice cream store by five minutes.

ah, junhui cant wait to see him.

he’s instantly greeted by the sight of wonwoo sitting on one of the elevated flower beds outside his apartment building. his bottom lip is between his teeth as he violently taps away at his phone, leg bouncing up and down.

once wonwoo sees junhui, a smile instantly breaks out onto his face as he gets up. junhui unlocks the door, pulling wonwoo in to escape the chilly february weather outside.

“cold?” junhui asks.

_no,_ wonwoo wishes he could say, _he was so nervous about seeing junhui that he could barely feel the cold air biting at his skin._

“y-yeah,” wonwoo manages, “freezing, dude.”

_dude?_ jesus christ wonwoo.

junhui snorts at his remark. they make their way towards the lift, wonwoo trailing quietly behind junhui. the ride to the sixteenth floor is just as quiet, save for the faint humming of the elevator engines. just like all their previous silences, this one is not the first to break their consecutive moments of comfortable silence. junhui steals a glance to see wonwoo looking at him. he jolts and immediately looks down, suddenly interested in junhui's black slides and white socks.

junhui tries to push his heart down.

as junhui guides him through the apartment hallways towards his unit, wonwoos mind cant help but wander off in another direction, particularly one where his adult life included the same boy standing in front of him. he imagines himself at twenty five, holding junhuis hand as they make their way towards their shared apartment with smiles on their lips, in a universe where junhui didn't seem so lonely and wonwoo didn't feel so far away from him.

"wonwoo?" junhuis voice snaps him out of his daydream.

_get it together, wonwoo._

to his delight, the rest of the day goes well. they finally finished the design for their poster, and all there's left to do is to fill in the blank spaces with content. junhui throws himself back onto his bed, sighing in relief.

"fucking finally," he groans, "i don't know if i'll be able to look at that shade of peach ever again."

wonwoo laughs. "i'm sorry, you must be exhausted."

they're seated next to each other on what little space junhui has on his twin bed. wonwoos knee is resting on top of junhuis from how close they were sitting, and wonwoo could feel the springs under the mattress move whenever junhui so much as repositions himself on the bed. hands behind his head, junhui closes his eyes and takes a deep breath in. wonwoo looks at him.

wonwoo might be in love with him.

in the process of lying back on his bed, junhuis hoodie rode up his stomach, showing a small patch of skin. wonwoo sees it, and briefly considers poking it just to be annoying.

he does not. wonwoo gently pulls the fabric back down.

the gesture prompts junhui to reopen his eyes. "wonwoo?"

wonwoo looks right at junhui. he blinks, once, twice, before looking away, closing up the tabs on his laptop.

maybe another day. maybe not today, but certainly, another day.

* * *

most people would have stopped talking to their previous project partners after the project is done, if they weren't friends in the first place. wonwoo, however, is not like most people. at least not when it comes to wen junhui. the projects deadline may have been months ago, but wonwoo still receives messages from junhui daily, talking about school, perhaps life. sometimes junhui would ask about changbin, and wonwoo would ask about minghao, chan, and soonyoung.

junhui would always take hours, if not days to reply. wonwoo's not sure if the guy is just busy, or straight up ignoring him.

fun fact; it is both.

"why date, when lee dokyeom exists?" junhui suddenly asks one day.

it is the one statement minghao and chan will never be able to disagree with. soonyoung? not yet, but all three of them have their eyes set on converting him into a _cutie gathering_ , as dokyeom loved calling his fans.

his bedroom ceiling is probably bored from the hours and hours of staring it endures from junhui. propped open. his laptop sits next to him, connecting him to a group call between him, minghao, chan, and soonyoung. their calls are quiet for the most part. sometimes, minghao would ask them questions about their homework, or chan would tell them about the latest gossip, or soonyoung would suddenly recite an inspirational quote or two out of the blue. junhui could never predict them, even if he does spend most of his time with them and only hem.

tonight, junhui chooses to be philosophical. one, because jeon wonwoo has been on his mind for the past month since they met, and junhui's beginning to think that they're going down an unfavorable route. two, because it pisses minghao off almost all the time.

"you're right," chan sighs, "i don't need a relationship. i have dokyeom."

perhaps chan has an unhealthy infatuation with a korean pop idol. but then again, so does junhui and minghao. none of them are in a position to berate the other, unless they were soonyoung.

junhui eyes the steadily growing collection of lee dokyeoms albums sitting on his shelf. the content of that shelf, he bets, amounts to more than any item you could pick in junhuis room. except for his laptop, maybe.

"god i wish i was dating dokyeom. maybe my life would make sense," minghao tsks.

"weirdos," he hears soonyoung mumble.

suddenly, the entire call erupts into chaos. he cant tell who’s yelling anymore from the overlap of both chan and minghaos voices spurting in through his speakers, mixed in with a few from himself. miraculously, he can hear soonyoung weakly try to defend himself. the little green ring around his profile flickered on and off, indicating noise coming from his end. junhui could practically imagine what soonyoung was trying to do, struggling to defend himself. if this conversation had taken place, soonyoung would be facing a fist halfway to his face and a tight grip around the collar of his shirt.

exhaling, junhui lies flat on his back. his gaze goes back to his ceiling as his hands lie on his stomach, fingers slotted in between each other. with the call, still in shambles, acting as ambience and setting the atmosphere, junhuis mind wanders.

off to thoughts of wonwoo.

he’s reminded of the boys gray padded jacket as they walked side by side along the streets of hongdae one chilly night. just days ago, the back of their palms brushed against each other when they passed the other in a crowded hallway. junhui remembers gulping when the small gesture makes his heart perform somersaults in his chest. then, there was also the time wonwoo seemingly appeared out of nowhere to place a can of peach flavoured coolpis onto the cafeteria table in front of junhui. before he had a chance to even look up at wonwoo, the boy booked it up the stairs, disappearing behind the wall in a flash.

they met again in biology, later that day, but junhui chooses to say nothing about the beverage. a thank you, he presumes, would suffice.

fuck, this is so sick though. he can’t be developing feelings for jeon wonwoo. is he really going to develop feelings for every guy who treats him with the most basic level of respect? for all he knows, this could very well be wonwoos regular way of treating his friends (does wonwoo even consider him a friend?). hell, he’d seen wonwoo kiss changbins cheek before separating to head to their respective classes one too many times. wonwoo would quickly press a kiss onto changbins cheek whenever the other least expected it, then he’d saunter away with a triumphant smile on his face as changbin gagged and cursed behind him.

so yeah, overly affectionate. most probably. jeon wonwoo is just overly affectionate with everyone he’s friends with. he says i love you and gives kisses way too often. he’s just overly affectionate. wonwoo buys all his friends extravagant gifts for their birthdays, so it’s not a surprise that he buys junhui drinks and snacks during lunch some days.

yeah. jeon wonwoo is just overly affectionate. junhui’s certain of that.

* * *

jeon wonwoo is not just overly affectionate.

junhui learns that the day of their anniversary; one year since their biology project was assigned. one year since they sat in a bio eleven class. one year since junhui had his first proper conversation with wonwoo. one year since wonwoo was sure the way his stomach twisted when junhui came close was the result of a crush.

to wonwoo, love is a gift. just like junhui is his gift.

except he knows junhui does not feel the same way about love.

they lay together on the bed, a blanket thrown over their entangled legs. wonwoo has junhuis arm around him, and in turn, he rests his head on junhuis chest with an arm draped around the other as they watch an anime on his laptop. he can faintly hear junhuis heartbeat, slightly disappointed to hear that it’s beating at an average rate.

“hui,” wonwoo mumbles.

“hm?”

“love you,” wonwoo says, tightening his grip.

for a moment, the air is quiet. junhui doesn’t say it back, doesn’t move to at least let wonwoo know he heard him. acid begins to rise up his throat as the pressure quickly accumulates in wonwoos chest. is that too much? did he say the wrong thing? is junhui weirded out-

“why?”

his response comes out barely louder than a whisper, almost inaudible over the audio from the laptop. wonwoo gently presses the spacebar down and shuts the laptop.

he sits upright to look at junhui properly. “why what?”

“w-why do you love me?”

frankly, wonwoo’s never really thought about it. what could he say? does he even need a reason to love junhui? all he knows is the butterflies in his stomach whenever junhui laughs at one of his jokes. or the tensing of his muscles when junhui walks close enough to his side that their shoulders brush occasionally.

wonwoo notices how junhui looks away after he poked the little mole under his left eye and the one just above the corner of his lip, trying to hide his growing smile. after every hang out, junhui might just be a little too loud during break times at school the next day, raving to a bored minghao and chan about his adventures _(“he calls me hui guys! hui!”)_. wonwoo could be standing on one end of the hallway, and he’d still be able to hear junhui in the class at the other end.

he doesn’t know _why_ he loves junhui. why he feels the need to tell him how loved he is every chance he gets, or why he buys him little gifts even if it uses up what little money he has left. he doesn’t know why he loves junhui, because junhui is supposed to be just another ex group project partner, isn’t he? he doesn’t know why he loves _junhui_ , when he could easily love someone else, who could accept every single bit of wonwoos love with less difficulty.

yet here he is, surely giving his heart to someone who isn’t even sure about receiving it.

“i don’t know,” wonwoo says truthfully, “i really don’t.”

silence falls upon them again. for the first time, wonwoo avoids junhuis eyes by looking down at his lap, but junhui looks right at wonwoo.

without looking, wonwoo reaches for junhuis hand to grasp it. “i just know i love you. like, i _love_ you. do you get what i mean?”

wonwoo looks up. junhui blinks.

“i know you’ve stopped since…since soonyoung,” wonwoo says, “i get it. it’s okay.”

ah.

junhui gulps.

“i’m sorry. it’s okay if we stop being friends after this, but i need to tell you.” he takes a deep breath. “it’s something i’ve talked to changbin about a lot, and he tells me that-”

“wonwoo,” junhui cuts in, “you like me?”

his eyes tremble. “y-yeah. yeah, i- i do. i’m sor-“

in hindsight, junhui probably _shouldn't_ have done that. the sudden press of his own trembling lips against wonwoos throws the other off, quite violently at that. wonwoos entire body freezes, mind blank and heart skipping sixteen consecutive beats at this point of time. is he dead? is this really happening? god, what would they write on his gravestone? died at eighteen from a kiss from his crush?

junhui pulls away after a second that, really, felt more like an entire minute. the two sit quietly, face only inches away from each other as they- shit. they just kissed. they're not even together, and they've _kissed_. what the hell? is this normal?

junhui panics. "i'm sor-"

"stop apologizing."

to junhuis surprise, wonwoo grabs either side of his face with both hands before pulling him close. with the distance between them sealed, junhui scoots closer, hands unsure of where to rest. wonwoo pulls away, sighing. his hands fall to where junhuis are to hold them.

"fuck," he laughs breathily, "i've wanted to do that for so long."

a beat of silence passes.

junhui is the first to break it, erupting into a fit of laughter. his head falls on wonwoos shoulder to nuzzle his nose against the corner of his neck. wonwoo follows quickly, throwing his arms around junhuis back to pull him closer. a comfortable silence follows right after junhuis laughter fades.

junhui thinks, this is different. wonwoo feels different. he's not like seungcheol, or mingyu, or soonyoung, or any of his previous crushes for that matter. they were a feeling, but wonwoo was a fact. junhui may not be sure of a lot of things, like what will become of him and wonwoo, or if his fears will get in his way in the near future, but is sure of at least that. he is sure he loves wonwoo, and he is sure that it is right.

"it feels good to love you," junhui mumbles.

this time, he can confidently say that this love will not hurt him.

* * *

"okay, can we rewind, please? so i know i'm not losing my mind?"

"i kissed him."

"like, on the cheek?"

"no, on the lips."

"gross."

"shut up chan. first of all, he's probably lying-"

"i'm not?"

"prove it."

"how am i supposed to prove that?!"

"heh... _hao_ am i supposed to prove-"

before he finishes his sentence, soonyoung earns himself a smack on the back of the head from minghao.

"so are you guys dating now?"

junhui nods, "mhm."

minghao sighs, nodding. “alright, well, i’m happy for you man. wonwoo’s a really nice guy. if he hurts you, i’ll beat him the fuck up.”

“you’re skin and bones, hao,” chan reminds him, eyes not even looking up from his textbook.

“kid, you have a death wish.”

from where junhuis table is, he can clearly see wonwoo and changbin a ways away from him. they’re probably talking about some movie wonwoo saw recently, he theorizes, from the way wonwoo’s lips move rapidly and the little gestures he’s making with his hands. they make eye contact briefly. wonwoo smiles, one that turns his eyes into crescents. junhui smiles back, a toothy one, accompanied with a soft laugh.

wonwoo breaks eye contact to continue his conversation with changbin. in front of junhui, minghao is still threatening chan with a fate worse than death, and soonyoung is egging both sides on. many have left him, but at least he’s still got them and wonwoo.

perhaps love isn't necessarily romantic, like the love between him and wonwoo, although he must admit it's the strongest one. perhaps love can simply be the relief in junhuis heart whenever he sees that all three of his friends are present in school today.

with love like that, perhaps it isn’t so bad after all, he thinks.


End file.
